- Save money on shampoo!
- No more greys! Instantly!
- Takes zero minutes to dry your hair!
- Bad hair days? Not anymore!
- No more vacuuming the spot on the floor behind where I fix my hair!
- That feeling you get when there is a hair stuck in your shirt, and you can't contort your body enough to free it! Yeah I can't remember what that's like...
- No more shaving! Well almost... legs are still hanging in there a little bit. But no pits!
- There's always a rush of air you get over your head when you open up a doorway into another room.
- Arguing with your spouse over how high of a rotation the fan should be spinning at.
- Forgetting to wash your head because your old routine always started with shampoo/conditioner.
- Always having to cover up to go outside. There's no way I'm trusting this noggin' with SPF alone!
- Making sure your wig or scarf is on straight.
- Getting "chills" from your scarf or wig brushing your neck in just the right way.
So... this week has been rough. It's like you know chemo is tough, but you don't KNOW until you KNOW. It's just so hard. I'm trying to do everything right. I'm eating the right foods, drinking lots of water, and alcohol doesn't even sound remotely appealing. I'm trying to stay active and go on my jog/walks... but it just isn't enough to overcome the chemo. I mean, I get it. They are pumping toxic chemicals into my body every two weeks to kill bad cells. I just wish it would only kill the bad cells, and leave the rest of me alone.
It's strange to think about how before we started the chemo I just had this cancer inside me, silently dividing and wreaking havoc, however I felt perfectly fine and healthy. It wasn't until the chemo that I felt sick.
Today (Friday) is usually my "back to normal" day, but it's not here yet. I am scared that as the chemo builds up in my system that it's going to be harder and harder for me to bounce back. I'm supposed to be young and invincible, right? I am not. This is beyond humbling.
Prayers and vibes, please. I am in need.