Saturday, May 10, 2014

every little thing is gonna be alright

Breast cancer. There, I said it. Haha, so no joke, I just heard Dumbledore's voice in my head, "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself." Smart man, Dumbledore.

Got the call Thursday, May 1 at about 3pm, and my world stopped. In the past 10 days I have gone through such a range of emotions. Fear, shock, sadness, depression, confusion, anger, relief, happiness, comfort, love, joy... I'm missing several more. I have cried many tears, but the place I'm in now is good. I am feeling strong. I am ready to fight. It won't be easy, but I KNOW I can do it with the help of my awesome doctors, nurses, and all of you.

I am planning to use this blog as a space to keep all of you updated on my progress, and recovery. As of May 1st I am a cancer SURVIVOR. So check back in to see how I'm doing.

Additionally, I am starting a chemo playlist, and I need your help. I'm looking for uplifting, inspirational songs that will help me feel strong.  Really, just a song that takes you to a happy place where you just want to get up and dance would be perfect. I'm collecting all of these on spotify, and sharing the link below if you want to follow along. If your suggestion is already on the list, please tell me anyway. I will think of you when I hear it. Even if we haven't spoken in years, or if we barely know each other. Send me a suggestion. I will add it to the list!

My sweet friend Sidney got me this awesome plate, which is now hanging on the wall in my dining room with the rest of my collection of special/pretty plates, so naturally Michael Jackson has now been added to the playlist.

Coming soon - a rockin' pixie cut. I've never been brave enough to chop ALL of my hair off, but right now it feels empowering. Let's do this thing.

Playlist can be found here:
every little thing is gonna be alright

Love y'all.

PS: If you're prayerful, please say a prayer for me. If you're more of a positive energy kinda guy/gal then send me good vibes. I feel your thoughts and prayers. They are fueling me. :)


  1. Wow, Jess. What a beautiful approach to a tough experience. Sending prayers AND vibes. As for your playlist, Pharrell's Happy can turn anything around. I will add more tunes as I come across them. Power and peace to you, my dear!

  2. I don't think I know what to say about all of this right, I'll just give you some song suggestions and hopefully you'll know there's people out here rooting for you.
    Carry On by fun. (Because the line, "May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground" has gotten me through many dark times.)
    Feeling Good by Michael Buble
    Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch (Because who doesn't feel better about life thinking about Mark Whalberg shirtless?)
    Hakuna Matata from The Lion King (Do you really need a reason?)
    Hall of Fame by The Script
    The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and The News (I have recently rediscovered this song and it just makes me want to watch Back to the Future on repeat. This is not a bad thing.)

    Hopefully you like some of these. Sending good thoughts your way. And looking forward to the pixie cut!


  3. Dear Jessica,

    I really have no idea how tough emotionally this must be for you right now, but I know you and I know that you are strong. You are one of the strongest women I know! You are going to rock that pixie haircut. You got this! There is a whole gang of supporters with you. You are not alone in this. Make sure and accept all of the positive vibes and prayers we are all sending you.
    Here are some music suggestions (I will send some more later)…there is even one from my niece (Sarah – how could you forget her as much as I talked about her in our old cube!!??!)

    “Good Vibrations” - Beach Boys (I also LOVE “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”)
    “Africa” - Toto
    “Sunshine” – Atmosphere
    “Everybody Dance Now” - C+C Music Factory
    Sarah’s Suggestion: “Girl On Fire” – Alicia Keys

    Love, Lee Alice

  4. I will be praying for you.

    A couple of songs...
    Overcomer by Manissa
    All things are possible by Nicole C Mullen

  5. Jessica, you and Connor can beat this! My family has you in our prayers. I knew Connor in passing as a fellow Goin' Band member, and our mutual friend Sara Coleman brought me up to speed on your diagnosis. I know it'll be hard, but keep your spirits high, and you guys will get through this.

    To that end, I recommend a heavy dose of The Mowglis for your play list. Best ones that come to mind off the top of my head are "the Great Divide" and "San Francisco". These are fun, upbeat songs by a group that celebrates the power of love and living life fully. I haven't found a song in there taht didn't leave me feeling great, and I hope the same can be said for you.

    Stay strong, Jessica, and Connor - you are a survivor now too! God be with you both.

  6. You are so strong Jessica!

    "Never Once" Matt Redman
    "This is Amazing Grace" Phil Wickham
    "Just Dance" Lady Gaga


  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. Wow, Jess, I'm in shock. Kinda stopped me in my tracks this morning. Be at peace knowing you're already being prayed for and will continue to be! Love ya girl! Here are some songs that will hopefully help keep that pretty smile on your face:

    “Hey Ya” – Outkast (reminds me of our time living in Horn/Knapp – they played this in the dining hall ALL THE TIME!)
    “Beautiful Day” – U2
    “Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina and the Waves
    “We are the Champions” – Queen
    “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – Bobby McFerrin
    “What a Wonderful World” – Louis Armstrong
    “I’m Too Sexy” – Right Said Fred (just because)
    “One Week” – Barenaked Ladies
    “Mmm Bopp” – Hanson (because honestly, what teenage girl didn’t love this song??)
    “I Want to Hold Your Hand” – the Beatles
    “Accidentally in Love” – Counting Crows
    “Kiss Me” – Sixpence None the Richer
    “I’ll Be There for You” – the Rembrandts
    “Do Wah Diddy” – Manfred Mann
    “Tubthumping” – Chumbawumba
    “I Feel Good” – James Brown
    “Faith” – George Michael
    “Footloose” – Kenny Loggins
    “You’re the One that I Want” – John Travolta & Olivia Newton John
    “Call Me Maybe” – Carly Rae Jepsen
    “Fly” – Sugar Ray
    “I’m Yours” – Jason Mraz
    “Lucky” – Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

  9. You will have this beat in no time! I have complete faith in that!

    A few songs for you (I tried to think of ones no one else would probably think of):
    "Dance, Dance" - Fall Out Boy
    "No Doubt" - Petra (Not really a dancing song, but uplifting)
    "Intergalactic" - Beastie Boys
    "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys
    "Shake it" - Metro Station
    "Take on Me" - Reel Big Fish
    "Beer" - Reel Big Fish

    Almost anything from the Barenaked Ladies. Selections include:
    -Be My Yoko Ono
    -If I had $1,000,000
    -History of Everything (Full version of the Big Bang Theory theme)
    -Sound of your voice
    -Life, in a Nutshell

    There are always more if you need more :)

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. I can't say I know what you're going through, but going through a divorce isn't exactly where I wanted to be this year either. Life throws you unexpected curve balls, but but we've got to keep swinging for the fences. Thank GOD for family and friends and encouragement. Here are a few songs that I listen to, to keep me moving forward. I know it's been a long time, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here. - Heather

    It's Time - Imagine Dragons
    Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer
    If You're Going Through Hell - Rodney Atkins
    Can't Hold Us - Macklemore
    The Sun is Rising - Britt Nicole

  12. Jessica,

    I am praying so hard for you! You are going to kick cancer in the face! I have always known you were a strong girl, but your post solidifies that!

    I don't know why Katy Perry is cool to me now...however....

    Carry On...FUN

    Laura (Kessler) Swartzendruber

  13. Oh, gosh Jessica. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I've been scouring my playlists for songs... here's all I've been able to come up with so far, but I'm sure I'll harass you sporadically as I think of more.

    -Beautiful Morning by The Rascals ALWAYS makes me smile, even if I'm in a horrible mood.
    -Safely by Hot Rod Circuit is one I always try to sing along to when I'm feeling down
    -If you like to rock out, the entire Major/Minor album by Thrice could be good. If anything, I really love the songs "Words in the Water," "Anthology," "Call it in the Air," and "Disarmed."