i would like you to dance (birthday) take a cha-cha-cha-chance (birthday) i would like you to dance (birthday) oh dance! dance...

Dear Blake,

This time last year I was overjoyed with the news that you had just been born, on your due date, no less. I was kind of hoping you would make an early appearance and be a 4th of July baby. Can you imagine, fireworks on your birthday, every year! Mostly I was just anxious to meet you.

At your family baby shower hosted by "the Great Aunts" (I'm the Aunt now!)

I was so proud of your mama for doing such a great job and delivering you without drugs. I was so thankful for your daddy, who took such wonderful care of your mama, (and you!). They were so ecstatic and overcome with love to have you become part of their family that day. They made a wonderful team.

fresh!

I didn't get to meet you til you were already 4 weeks old, but I can tell you that I fell in love instantly. Unless you count me falling in love with the photo above. I think it counts.

At 4 weeks, things had settled down a little. The grandparents had left, and your parents were starting to find their groove. Uncle Connor and I drove up from Texas to make sure you weren't just a figment of our imagination. You weren't. You were perfect. Except for the receding hairline, which was precious. And really... who am I to talk about good hair right now? You totally have me beat in the hair department. :)

Hard to believe how something so tiny can fill your heart so completely.

So Blake, it has now been a year. You are One. You are cruising, and clapping, and touching your nose, and roaring like a lion, and waving goodbye. You always light up when we get to face time, which makes me feel oh so loved. Here's the thing, Blake. It doesn't have to be this way. You can move back home to Texas. Try to convince your parents. (It will be our little secret.)

I am hoping to be able to road trip to see you in August after they switch out my chemo drugs. I can't wait to see what you're up to by then. Surely you will be running around your Aunt Jess in circles. :) Hoping and praying that the next set of drugs will allow me to do this!!

precious little nugget!

As for an update on me. I just finished my 3rd round of chemo yesterday. That's 75% done with the "hard" drugs, and 37.5% done altogether. Whew! This is flying by. When it's getting close to time for chemo day, I equally dread it and look forward to it. I think that's probably pretty normal... Strong desire to check another treatment off the list, low desire to experience it!

Acid reflux was a little better this time, but still bad. They are suggesting more drugs which makes me wary, so they said for me to tell them quickly if it's not helping. We will see. For now I have learned, no tomatoes. At all. Doesn't matter if you're feeling good, don't even try it. They will knock you down. Life lessons!

The other thing that I am dealing with is pre-anemia. They are shutting down my ovaries, plus I am going through chemo, so all of that adds up to me needing more iron in my diet. She suggested leafy greens (especially spinach) every day, so right now I am drinking down a spinach smoothie. She also suggested more beef! and more liver (WHAT?) I don't typically eat a lot of beef, so that will be tricky to figure out how to incorporate that. I don't know that I'm even going to go there with liver, unless one of you comes out of the woodwork with some amazingly good and not weird recipe for liver.... any takers!?

I asked her to set me up with a nutritionist to help me figure all of this out. I need all the help I can get!

Truly though... let me know if you have any good recipes for iron rich foods. I want to dazzle them with my blood counts in two weeks!

Love y'all,

Jess

bonus: Blake says "every little thing is gonna be alright"